THE INSPIRATION BEHIND ACT CARE SUPPORT LIMITED
My journey to this point in my life has not been an easy one. However, the trials and tribulations I have been through has helped me to be the woman I am today. I am independent, resilient and strong willed. Full of determination when it comes to achieving and succeeding in all my endeavours.
Here is a brief background of how far I have come. My birth was just after the war. My father was thought to be an Arab (Because of our names). My mother was Caucasian and came from West Bromwich. My brother and I were twins. We were born in West Ham, London.
Although there is no documented address, it is an assumption that mymother was living in London with my father. At some stage my mother moved back to West Bromwich and was later admitted to a mental hospital in Lichfield. My thoughts are she might have suffered from Post Natal Depression. Her ability to cope with twins and being away from her family would have probably taken its toll and led to them going their separate ways.
Life in the Children’s Home
I and my twin brother spent our growing up days in the care home. The children’s home was situated in West Bromwich and housed 4 to 5 children. Most of the children in the home were orphans due to their parents dying or the product of an unwanted pregnancy.
We were just a business when I looked back on my time there. We were never loved, never complimented, never encouraged, never hugged. We were watered, fed, clothed and given shelter. We never had anyone visit us at the home. No one came to our parents evening. No one showed any interest in how we were doing at school. No one attended our sports day.
Nothing was wasted in the home. If you didn’t like a meal or you didn’t eat all of the food on your plate, you would get it the next day for your dinner. There were never any treats like cream cakes or dough nuts.
My memory of being in the children’s home was not a good experience for me and my brother. These experiences affected us differently. My brother found it difficult to show love and trust people. To some extent, I was the same. Because I was never shown love I found it hard to express love. I had some feelings but did not know how to trust or relate to how I was feeling.
The Day We Were Told About Our Mother
When my brother and I was about 11 years old, we were both summoned to the office in the care home. In a matter-of-fact, we were told our mother was still alive. My brother and I were in total shock. Up till that time, we thought our mother was dead. All these years and then like a thunder bolt we were hit with this news. All this time, my brother and I thought it was only the two of us.
Being Fostered Out
On two separate occasions I was fostered out to a family with the view of adoption. On both occasions I asked to go back to the home. The family I went to saw me as a commodity and not a person. The first family hadme carrying and fetching things backwards and forwards while the wife walked around empty handed.
In the second family, the young boy introduced me as his new black sister. I think he thought I was a show piece. This behaviour was an extension of how we were treated in the home. Cared for but not loved.
Released into the Big Wide World
When my brother and I were 16 years old, we were released from the home and told to move on. There was no preparation for this day. No help, no assistance, off you go. You are on your own now. At this point, I was really passionate and determined to support other children and young persons that were going through the same system I had been through. I went to Weston Super mare and worked with Down’s Children and those who were disabled. I eventually left Weston Super mare and went to do my Nursing training at Selly Oak Hospital in Birmingham. It was during my time at Selly Oak that I had my son. Times were very hard, I would go for days without food and when I did eat, it was a bag of chips. I did not realise i could get help from social services and so I literally struggled to survive. Fortunately, I was able to get a job in the maternity department at City Hospital Dudley Road after my training as a nurse.
First Time Meeting My Mum
After a while I was able to go and see my mother in Lichfield. She was a tall lady who would run from room to room telling everyone her daughter was here. That was how excited she was each time I visited.
My son David was deeply in love with football. As a mother, I tried my best to support his passion as much as possible. I would take him for trainings and took it upon myself to personally wash and iron the kits for the whole team. As a mother gave my best trying to cope with work, bringing up a challenging son on my own and attempting to support him in every way I could. I supported his dream of being a footballer as best as I could. He never went without.
Irrespective of the tough times that I went through, I never gave up on life. I came in contact with some amazing people who contributed immensely in giving me hope for a better life. This hope kept me going even in the midst of difficult times. I realized I could become much more in life and I was determined to do so. I went back to college to do my Community Nursing Certificate training.
We lived in a rented room, sharing both the kitchen and bathroom for over 5years. We then moved into Council housing where we lived for 15 years. I was able to acquire my first house while working in the community. I purchased another house in west Bromwich afterwards.
Inspired by a Mother’s Love
My son has been inspired by my journey. His commitment is that no one should have to suffer what I suffered and his mission is to make sure that where there is a child in need, there is a place for them to be loved and find their place in life. This is the background upon which ACT Care Support was birthed. David created “ACT” because he saw what I went through and his mission is to make sure that nobody has to go through what I had to experience.